It's been 5 years.

5 years ago today my dad passed away. A lot can happen in 5 years. The last time I saw my dad, before he got sick, was at my college graduation. (I think - I can't remember for sure and it kills me but I think that was the last time.) What a special day. That day, I knew my dad was proud of me. I could see it in his eyes. He was beaming. I know that if he had gotten to meet Madi, he would look at her the same way. I so so wish he could have met her. I wonder all the time if that would have changed our relationship. This time is always hard for me. I have so many mixed emotions. Of course, when you lose someone, all that anger and disappointment doesn't disappear, but it's a bit easier to see their side of things. I kind of get it now, or maybe that's just my maturity kicking in. I miss him dearly and if I could see him just one more time none of that other stuff would matter. What would matter is to tell him how much I love him and how much I admire his talents and his humor.

 

I miss hearing him smack on Slim Jims while we talked on the phone.

I miss hearing him say "Hey Kid."

I miss showing up at his work for a hug and a milkshake.

I miss our daddy/daughter mornings at Hardee's and how he would cut my biscuit for me even when I was 16 years old.

I miss his quirkiness and habit of moving his shoulder up and down every few minutes.

I miss his laugh.

I miss him giving me a hard time for not laughing during a funny movie.

I miss everything about my dad, the good and the not so good. Sometimes it does get easier, but other times, when I "forget" and go to call him, it's really tough. I love him and have missed him so much these past 5 years. I will never stop missing him, but some days it is a little bit easier to smile than to cry.

And because I know my dad would absolutely love this video of his sweet grand daughter, here is Madi's lesson of how to hula hoop - or "woo hoop":

Have a great Monday, and give your dad an extra hug today. :)

PS. I would also like to wish my beautiful friend Jill a very happy birthday!  I heart you Jilly!