Monday, June 20, 2011

It's been 5 years.

5 years ago today my dad passed away. A lot can happen in 5 years. The last time I saw my dad, before he got sick, was at my college graduation. (I think - I can't remember for sure and it kills me but I think that was the last time.) What a special day. That day, I knew my dad was proud of me. I could see it in his eyes. He was beaming. I know that if he had gotten to meet Madi, he would look at her the same way. I so so wish he could have met her. I wonder all the time if that would have changed our relationship. This time is always hard for me. I have so many mixed emotions. Of course, when you lose someone, all that anger and disappointment doesn't disappear, but it's a bit easier to see their side of things. I kind of get it now, or maybe that's just my maturity kicking in. I miss him dearly and if I could see him just one more time none of that other stuff would matter. What would matter is to tell him how much I love him and how much I admire his talents and his humor.

 

I miss hearing him smack on Slim Jims while we talked on the phone.

I miss hearing him say "Hey Kid."

I miss showing up at his work for a hug and a milkshake.

I miss our daddy/daughter mornings at Hardee's and how he would cut my biscuit for me even when I was 16 years old.

I miss his quirkiness and habit of moving his shoulder up and down every few minutes.

I miss his laugh.

I miss him giving me a hard time for not laughing during a funny movie.

I miss everything about my dad, the good and the not so good. Sometimes it does get easier, but other times, when I "forget" and go to call him, it's really tough. I love him and have missed him so much these past 5 years. I will never stop missing him, but some days it is a little bit easier to smile than to cry.

And because I know my dad would absolutely love this video of his sweet grand daughter, here is Madi's lesson of how to hula hoop - or "woo hoop":

video

Have a great Monday, and give your dad an extra hug today. :)

PS. I would also like to wish my beautiful friend Jill a very happy birthday!  I heart you Jilly!

8 comments:

Lauren H. Edmondson said...

thinking of you today!

Savanah said...

You have some great memories of your dad! Thinking about you today :)

Just Jen said...

I'll be praying for your strength today. Your dad would be so proud of you. Love you!

Mr. and Mrs. Smith said...

So sorry, Brittan! Thinking of you! xoxo

Chicago Cuisine Critique said...

Thinking of you today. And you are right, your dad would love that video of Madi. She is too darn cute.

Mama K said...

So sorry you lost your dad way too soon! Saying a special prayer for your family right now.

Amber said...

So sorry for your loss sweet girl. Of course he'd be proud of you! :) XOXO

Jessica Moore said...

awww I love that video of Madi. The way she says put your hands on your hips like this is too adorable. Keeping you in my prayers for strength as each passing day without your daddy brings you closer to peace. I KNOW he is watching you guys everyday smiling and laughing from heaven. <3 y'all!!

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