Monday, November 28, 2011

An Honest Post

I don’t really feel like blogging today. I don’t really feel like doing anything. I’m having a difficult time, but I think getting this all out there may help me to feel better.

Over the past few months I’ve gained about 7 pounds. To me, this is a big deal. I’m really upset about it. What’s even more frustrating is when people say “you have not!” or “but you look great!” Yes, those are nice comments and I do appreciate people’s kindness; however, I know my body. I can read my scale and my clothes not fitting is not because they shrunk in the dryer. I’m not sure what’s going on with me, but I’m gaining weight like crazy.

I’ve been a bit more stressed lately and I do eat more when I’m stressed. The other issue I have is that I don’t like anything healthy. At all. Nothing. The healthiest thing I like is probably turkey. I can’t eat vegetables. I will gag. Like CAN.NOT.EAT.THEM. Fruit is okay. I can handle some fruits, but they don’t fill me up and they are not easily accessible. (ie: snacking at work)

So anyway, I was pretty close to tears driving into work today after not being able to button my pants and noticing my shirt fit tighter than I remembered. I didn’t want to come to work, I didn’t want to talk to anyone, and most of all I didn’t want anyone to see me. I feel like I have a big sign on my back that says “I’VE GAINED 7 POUNDS!!” I’m not going to say I stopped my pity party completely – as you can see, I’m whining. But I did decide that diet coke HAS GOT TO GO. I truly think it makes you hungry. I have been drinking way too much of it lately and even after eating a huge meal, I’m still hungry. I blame the diet coke. I’m not going to let it control me anymore!! Sounds silly but diet coke is an addiction to me and I’ve got to end it! So, this morning when I got to work, I had some crystal light lemonade. And guess what? I’m still alive! It didn’t kill me! I just have to stick it out.

Also, this morning, I took the 5 flights of stairs to my floor instead of the elevator. Boy am I out of shape. My calves were burning by level 3. Ridiculous. And I’m going to start exercising. This is a must. My friend is giving me her treadmill and I’m going to get it this weekend. I cannot wait. I need this! I think it will really help my mood and my weight. Bottom line is – I’m depressed about this, to the point where I’m having dreams about gaining weight BUT there are things I can do about it. I’m not all happy go lucky right now but I know that I can feel better if I just make the effort.

I know this was probably boring for all of you to read, but I feel much better just having “said” it all. I can’t wait to feel like myself again. Right now though, I still want to go back home and crawl under the covers.

"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." -Phil 4:13

11 comments:

Erin said...

I'm sorry that you're in a funk! But I promise there isn't a sign on your back telling everyone you've gained 7 pounds :) I think the diet coke and walking up the stairs to work will get those 7 pounds off pretty fast! I know it can be tough, but you can do it!

Ashleigh said...

I understand how you feel. I have gained 10 lbs since we moved to OK just from boredom eating and stress. But we have a treadmill and I know what to eat, so it's my own fault. You can do it girl- you will feel so much better! And even though you dont want to hear it, you do look great :-)

Mandee said...

I gained 8 pounds since starting a new job in February. I felt so gross once I finally weighed myself and realized this. I started going to spin class twice a week in addition to the 3x pilates per week that I was doing, and I lost 4 pounds. I also just tried to cut back on sweets. It was hard and it takes a little while to lose pounds but I think exercise is key! You can do it!!

tara said...

I was in your exact shoes earlier this year! Now I'm down 15 lbs and at my college weight! I stopped drinking soda and started counting calories and that worked for me! Good luck, girl! You can do it!

Ashley said...

I hear ya, even though other people may not see it - you know exactly how your clothes are supposed to fit! When i started my desk job, I gained 10-15 lbs. I'm down about 8, but still have a ways to go. Good start on taking the stairs and limiting soda :-)

You should check out http://www.sparkpeople.com!

Just Jen said...

I feel ya, girl. I quit drinking soda, except for the occasional Sierra Mist w/ cranberry, about a month ago. I am drinking a lot of water and 100% juice. I have also noticed that I am drinking more milk then I used to.

Bad thing is, in women, soda doesn't really make you gain or lose weight. The exercise is what will help the most. If you have a Wii, get Jillian Michaels' or Zumba.

I am starting my Wii fitness routine as soon as this toothache is gone. I have used a weigh loss buddy before and did great. If you want to be buddies, let me know. I need to lose 15 pounds, though.

Steph said...

This post wasn't boring at all...it was real, and we could all use a little more "real" posts in our lives! Any little thing you do will make you feel better, so just do little things (like you are) and you will see a difference over time. I always take the stairs...they make a difference!

Meghan said...

Aww! Sometimes it's good just to let it all out - that's why we're here! Keep your head up, lady!

Carrin said...

I completely get it! I have gained 15lbs since my wedding 1 1/2 years ago & I even thought I was a little heavy then! It really gets me in a funk somedays. I'd love to lose some weight but to be truthful I haven't really put in a ton of effort to do so yet.
I did join myfitnesspal.com. It's a social network that revolves around weightloss. It tracks you daily calories and exersice. If you check it out & like it, friend me Carrin817.
You can do it. Determination and motivation are the keys.

Leanna Vera said...

You'll get that weight back off...I know you will! Have you ever tried sparkpeople.com? I had a lot of success with it when I was trying to take off the 15 pounds I gained during college.

Stephanie Doyle said...

I totally understand! I've put on 5lbs in the last couple months. It bothers me, but what bothers me even more right now is that I don't have the motivation to lose it right now :(

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