Monday, February 3, 2014

#Tired #of #the #labels

28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  --Matthew 11:28-30

Jesus is a pretty cool dude.

Fo real. Yo.

No seriously, He is.

I have been feeling really unaccepted lately and I had already planned on blogging about it. I like to share things I'm struggling with, because I assume I'm not the only one.

The reason I said Jesus is a pretty cool dude is because today, as I was driving, I decided to listen to my church sermon (live! I love technology!) and sure enough, it was just what I needed to hear.

Everyone is different. No two people are exactly the same. We hear that all the time, and it's true - to a degree.

I'm different from the majority of the people I know in these ways:
  • I hate to sleep. I have always hated to sleep, even as a baby (my poor parents). I just feel like it's a waste of time. I'll sleep when I'm dead.
  • I don't like vegetables. I don't like seafood. I don't like most fruit. I don't like mexican food. I don't like japanese food. I don't like about 85% of foods. I do like fast food, chips, pineapple, sweets, and Italian food. 
  • I have some for real OCD issues. I can't stand for things to touch my skin a certain way. Clutter makes me irritated. I bite my nails until they bleed.
  • When I don't understand something, am in an uncomfortable social situation (unfamiliar surroundings), or am scared I get really uptight and come across as rude/unfriendly. I don't mean to. It's just my natural reaction to these situations.
These are just a few things that I know stand out about myself and that I identify as different from others. The ones in bold are the ones I really feel affect how others perceive me.

Lately, I've gotten a bit fed-up with others' reactions to my differences. I don't eat all the same foods as you. Yes, I bite my nails. Yes, I realize it's disgusting. No, I don't know how to stop. 

My point of this post is not to vent and rant but to say to those reading this, and to myself, that our reactions to others (whether intentional or unintentional) most likely leave an impression. I feel bad about myself when I see someone's reaction to me saying no thank you to eating a particular food. I feel bad about myself when I see someone's facial expression after they've glanced at me biting my nails. I am sure I have made someone else feel bad before when they are doing something I deem weird or different. I'm making a conscious effort going forward to be aware of my body language and my reactions to others. 

The sermon from today comes in to play with this topic because Perry talked about hashtags, or labels. All of that above - it's labels. Labels I've placed on myself. Labels that others have placed on me. Some good - some bad. 

I'm working on saying good bye to my negative labels - 

#unattractive - childhood issue that I need to let go
#unaccepted - due to all of the above

And I'm working on realizing these are my true labels - 


So, maybe this made sense. Maybe it didn't. I tried to capture the random thoughts in my chaotic brain. Basically, I'm sick of people making fun of me for who I am just because I'm different than they are. And I'm sure others feel the same way. Jesus loves us. I'm trying to remember that!

When we allow hashtags to control us, we don’t let God control us. #Change


Unknown said...

It's scary isn't it? Trying to stop believing what others say. To stop being "hard" on yourself society has taught us to do just that. I want nothing more than my 6 year old to NEVER feel the way I feel sometimes.

Thank you for sharing, you're right that you are not alone in this struggle. Lets work together.

PS - I hate sleep too, the only reason I do it is because it's good for me. haha

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