I have learned a lot about myself lately. One thing being that I have extremely high expectations.
High expectations for myself: I expect myself to weigh a certain amount. I expect myself to act a certain way. I expect myself to have zero negative emotions in public because well, that’s what is expected from society. I expect myself to never yell at my child. I expect myself to keep a perfect “pinterest” house.
I do not achieve these things. I just expect it. And when it’s not met, I’m extremely hard on myself. Really, really hard on myself.
I also have expectations for others. I expect certain reactions from people and when I don’t get what I’m expecting, I’m disappointed or frustrated.
This is a big problem. It’s a problem for Madi. I expected her to jump up and down and squeal with excitement over the Disney show last night but she didn’t. I compared her to the three year old next to us who was doing just that and then I ASSUMED Madi wasn’t enjoying the show.
The kids were asked to stand up and interact with the cast but she just sat in her seat. I said why don’t you get up and dance? She looked at me and matter of factly (is that a word?) said “not that kind of person.” Well. She told me.
I know it's sideways but I can't get it to rotate!
At the time I didn’t understand. I wanted her to be as excited as I was. I wanted her to EXPRESS her excitement the exact same way that I was and other kids were. But now, looking back, just because she didn’t jump up and down doesn’t mean she didn’t have fun. She told me herself – she’s just not that kind of person. She DID have a good time. After the show she said she couldn’t wait to tell people about it.
I allowed my preconceived notions of how she would react to alter my mood.
This is just one example of the many, many times I have allowed my expectations to discourage and disappointment me.
Lesson learned. It’s not going to be easy to change my way of thinking. It won’t be an overnight change. But I’m going to work on it. And I’m going to try to remember that she’s not me. Madi has her own personality and so does everyone else I interact with.
I’m the kind of person who waves her hands in the air while riding on a roller coaster.
What kind of person are you?