Thursday, December 18, 2014

I hate you more than the word.

This morning was a little different, and a little similar, to most mornings in our house. I woke up, got ready, then woke Madi up. She pitched a fit about what she did and did not want to wear. And here is where it gets a little bit different – I wasn’t in the mood this morning. I just was not up for her “these are too tight” and “I don’t like those socks” and the never-ending helpmepickoutmyoutfitsoicansayidontwanttowearthat routine. So, perhaps it was my attitude that escalated things but regardless it escalated.

For 45 minutes I heard how much my sweet, innocent six year old HATES me. I heard how “if there was a trophy, you would win the worst mom in the world award!” I was told she hates me “more than the word” and “if I had something to throw, I would!”

{Had these words come from anyone other than my child or my step-child, I can’t say that the following would have taken place.}

As we got to the carline for drop off, Madi asked me to park so she could wipe her tears. I circled around the parking lot (because parking is just a hassle) and she wiped her tears, but she was still visibly upset. As she was getting ready to get out of the car and walk into school, I said to her “I love you no matter what you say to me. No matter what you do, I love you.” Then it struck me – that is pretty powerful. Someone just told me she hates me, kicked me, screamed at me, and hurt my feelings for 45 minutes and then I respond with “I love you.” The love we have for our children is so incredible. I wish I could say I would respond that way to a “friend” who did the same or a person on the street, but I can’t say I would.

I don’t have a profound conclusion to this except that God loves us a million times more than we love our children…that’s a heck of a lot of love. Madi may give me a run for my money most mornings, but no matter what she does, I will always love her. And no matter what we do, God will always love us.

After I dropped her off I called Paul while ugly crying in my car. Having him to lean on is so so amazing and I wouldn’t trade him, Madi, or Addi for the world.

Next time someone is mean to you, try being nice to them instead of retaliating. I think you will be shocked by the outcome.  


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